Islamic advice

I had posted previously about the (absurd) rule in Islam whereby a woman who is divorced must get married again and have sex with the new husband and then get divorced again before she can be remarried to her old husband. But here is an example of advice that is not absurd, though you may not agree with it entirely:

Question:
My husband’s father has come to live with us and he is sick with Alzheimer’s which is causing a lot of problems and stress. What are my duties towards him?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

The wife is not obliged to serve her husband’s father, mother or any of his relatives; rather it is good manners, if she lives in the same house, to serve his parents. But obliging her to do that is not permissible. So it is not permissible for her husband to force her to do that, and it is not obligatory for her. What I advocate is that the wife should be patient in serving her husband’s father and remember that it will not harm her, rather it will make her more respected and loved by her husband. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Comments

Azooz said…
I had posted previously about the (absurd) rule in Islam whereby a woman who is divorced must get married again and have sex with the new husband and then get divorced again before she can be remarried to her old husband.


That rule is for three time divorces i.e losers in love. Their feelings are true but they can not hold their anger. I remember watching the David Letterman show a few years back and Sunny and Cher were on - they sang "I got you Babe" and made everyone cry. No idea how many times they remarried - but I think that rule might have helped them.

The thing is that the husband must keep his anger in check, and the wife to - three divorces and they have to seperate. The very idea is very painful when you are in love.
Abu Daoud said…
Thank you for the insight Azooz. But it still seems like the woman is the one penalized, not the man.
Aysha said…
Yeah, my immediate thought was exactly what azooz mentioned: a woman must marry another man before being able to remarry her ex, only in case they went though 3 consecutive divorces.

I have never thought about it being more than a rule that rarely happens in life. I mean, how terrible could a man and a woman be so as to officialy divorce three times?

However, is it truly hurtful to the woman? If we take Islam as a whole, I think it is mean to penalize the man more than the woman. Since the right to announce divorce is solemnly the man's, that means when he looses his temper for the third time and announce divorce the wife is saved from going through his ol' roller coaster once again. She's officially relieved from that. Moreover, if he repents, and feels a longing for his ex-wife once again, he must see her for his own pain marrying another, sleeping with another, before he can get together with her. Just this thought might make a man stronger towards announcing his "third" divorce. It also allows the woman not to feel emotionally weak, forgiving her ex for the third time, and getting back together with him. If she wishes, she must beforehand get a taste of marrying another man..maybe life would work with someone else after all, and thus she wouldn't return to the ex.
Aysha said…
One more thing, from what I studied in school, the marriage that takes place with another man (after the third divorce) must not be arranged just for the purpose of getting the ex-es back together.
Azooz said…
think about that for a minute abu Daoud - the women might discover that her new husband is better than her original 3 time loser - the husband has that fear, she does not. The third divorce is not that easy especialy for the angry hot headed youngsters in love - jelousy (sp) does wonders .

It makes for great comedy to in Arabic plays. Aysha is right it must not be aranged and must be consumated, but when it is done the new husband is called "alTayis" meaning "the goat" - becuase ugly men are prefered :)

Peace

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