'Proverbs 31 husband' justifies beer habit

From HERE:

MINOT, N.D. — Jack Crocker, a beer-loving machinist and "part-time Christian," finally agreed to read Proverbs with wife Reanna. He's glad he did.
"I'm a Proverbs 31 husband all right," says Jack, then quotes Proverbs 31:6-7: "Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."
"That's my permission to crack open a cold one," Jack says, having a Coors after dinner.
But Reanna, a new church member, is pushing Jack hard to stop drinking. She insists he is neither "perishing" nor "in anguish." But Jack researched the Bible on the Internet and found 2 Corinthians 4:16 and 5:2 which say, "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day," and "Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling."
"Everyone is perishing and in anguish," Jack says. "Until we're delivered from these bodies, the Bible says to drink up."
As part of the escalating family tension he created a "Proverbs 31" category on their weekly budget and listed "beer" under it. He also wants to start a Proverbs 31 Men's Group with his buddies.
"We're trying to find where the Bible talks about buffalo wings," he says. •


BillyHW said…

John Stringer said…
Finally some common sense. Let's drink to that!
FrGregACCA said…
A piece worthy of an Evangelical version of the "Onion Dome".
GregQualls said…
Thanks for sharing this...I like the guy's enthusiasm...but I don't understand the part-time Christian part...
Rob said…
My favorite evengelical explanation of Jesus and the apostles drinking wine is that the wine was really just a weak anti-septic, not an alcoholic beverage.


But, then, I do understand why Christian groups might want to downplay drinking. Alcoholism is ugly and there certainly is a lot of it.

Glad to be a Sam Adams Catholic, though! :)
FrGregACCA said…
"You know," the Anglican/Orthodox/Roman Catholic priest said to the Little Old Baptist Lady, "That Jesus Himself used actual wine at the Last Supper."

"Oh, I know, I know," the Little Old Bapist Lady sighed, "And I don't think the better of Him for it either."


"Mr. Smith, do you Anglicans believe in drinking and smoking?" the Little Old Baptist Lady asked.

"Yes," Fr. Smith replied, "But not as being generally necessary to salvation."
Brett said…
The best excuse I have heard not to drink for as a pastor is as a witness.

He said that if he was at a dinner with his wife and casually enjoying a glass of wine and was called away for some important errand, such as being at the bedside of someone who was dying, he would not want that person to even have a chance of getting the wrong idea about him.

It can be relaxing to enjoy a pint and chat about theology, or convince drunk girls you can speak Swahili (Twist ;-)) But it is always important to recognize the world is watching. Let's have fun, but try not to be just like the world.
Lynn Hoffman said…
you know, many people don't consider coors light to be actual beer. . .
Anonymous said…
proverbs 31 is a test chapter and you all have failed it! of course strong drink and wine does dull the mind.

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